Too Many Tabs Open...

It has been too long since I sat down and wrote a post. At first when I thought about it, I couldn't even think what to write about next, a few weeks have passed, now it has been almost 2 months and my brain is having a tough time focusing on where to start. I need to update you on the kids' health, my Mounjaro journey, Christmas time, feeling like I don't know what I want to do next... so where do I even start? What I realize is, it doesn't matter where I start, it matters how I feel and what I want to share. My goal with this blog has been to make other people feel normal, and I know almost every woman out there understands my title - Too Many Tabs Open. I have so many things floating around in my brain that it gets all jumbled up sometimes. I am blessed to have the time to sit down and get these tasks and ideas sorted out... eventually. It may have taken 2 months, but as a mom and former working woman, I know some of you are simply not even blessed with the time to come up for air, so let me just say, I see you! Here I go trying to make sense of it all.

Perimenopause: The Annoying New TAB

Let's start there, because right now that is affecting a lot of the other areas of my life. Every woman going through this has a different story, but here is where mine has landed me so far.

1. Weight Gain - for me this is a no brainer, I have been on a weight loss roller coaster since I was a teenager and this stage of my life is no different, however perimenopause has made it much more difficult to lose weight and very easy to put weight on.

2. Temperature Fluctuations - I have tended to run hot for the last 10 years or so and wear t-shirts all winter. I have flush moments where I am sweating and should not be. But now that winter is here, I am colder and constantly sitting by the fireplace. I am the only lady curler, who starts with a sweater on and has to ditch it by about the 3rd end - I am cold, but sweating, so what can you do?

3. Aches and Pains - this is the one that bothers me the most. For the last 10 years or so I have had lower joint pain which I have always assumed is from carrying excessive weight, but last year my elbows really started bothering me, and my left shoulder and my jaw... I don't think this is weight related. Lots of people will simply say that is part of aging, but from the reading I have been doing, I strongly believe that lower estrogen can be a big part of this.

4. Fatigue- well I don't blame this on perimenopause, because I have had this longer than I possibly could have been in perimenopause, but I am sleeping more now that I am retired - often 10 + hours a night, which seems extreme.

What have I been doing about these things? The BIG 3 - I started Mounjaro, I am going to Dr. Bishop at the Bariatric Clinic (Bariatrics is the stem of medicine that studies and treats obesity) and I started HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) just last week - Estrogel and Progesterone.

Weight Loss: The NEVER ending TAB

As you know if you have been reading or watching my YouTube videos I started taking Mounjaro about 4 months ago. I started on the lowest dose 2.5 mg and have just started the 5 mg dosage last week. However, they had to switch me over to Zepbound in order for it to be covered by my insurance. Same drug, literally, different label. I felt pretty good at the lower dosage, but I was starting to have more cravings and seemed to be eating more at my meals again. Since my dose was increased I do have to be more careful because I am having a few minor issues, especially at night. I have developed the weird "effervescent" burp on occasion, as well as some heartburn. My bowel movements have been much smaller and harder to come by. My Chat GPT research shows I need to take more frequent sips of water all through the day, instead of chugging larger amounts. I am going to add Restoralx to my morning coffee now as well AND I also need to ensure I do not eat too much at any one meal - that was yesterday's issue, even though I took mindful portions at the Curling Christmas Lunch, it was a full turkey supper and likely was too much for my stomach to handle at one time. So I am learning. I am hoping to get my 30 lb charm at WW in the next week or two. I am slowly going in the right direction.

My Kiddos: The TAB I never want to close... ever

Anyone who is a parent knows how the health, happiness and general welfare of your children has a huge impact on your own health, happiness and general welfare. Having kids is a blessing, truly the greatest gift I have ever received. But being a parent is so stressful. I know I have said this before, but the worry never goes away - sorry mom and dad - geesh, I did not realize just HOW much we affect you. My kids are great! Like seriously, you have to have perspective in all things, right? My kids are fucking awesome! They are inherently good humans. I don't have to worry about them lying to me, stealing my stuff, being abusive... maybe you think I am setting the bar low here, but in the world today I am thankful that my kids are honest, trustworthy, kind and reliable. Are they perfect? Hell no, they are both sort of broken right now.... BUT, they are both really trying hard to patch themselves back together in the best way they know how. And they are young, my son is turning 20 next week and my daughter is 22. They have so much time left to figure things out. It seems like the end of the world if you fail a class or need to find a new job, it puts stress on your confidence, grows your anxiety and leaves you unmotivated and exhausted. Life has thrown them some curveballs, but they are not giving up. They are working their way through the adversity one day at a time, shit, sometimes one minute of deep breathing at a time, one nap at a time, one healthy meal at a time, one outdoor walk with a friend at a time, one therapy session at a time, one anti-anxiety pill at a time... they are learning just like me, how to cope with the issues that they have and that is all I can ask and hope for.

Birthdays and Christmas: The fun TAB

December is busy enough with Christmas, but let's add to that my birthday (51 years old as of last weekend) and my son's birthday next week (20 years old, no more teenagers in the house). I received the best gift I could have asked for, which was both my kids were home AND they were both healthy AND happy! This has not happened in a while. Often one has been missing, and with the anxiety issues, both of them had not been well during previous recent visits. These smiles below are genuine - we had such a fabulous 2 days. My heart was full from simply listening to my kids banter in the back of the van while we went to cut down our tree. Then watching them frolic off into the snow together and pick the tree was precious - even though they are all grown, it brought all these feels and damn, it made me happy.

Christmas will be very low key at our house, and I am okay with that. I will of course be jealous that my sisters get to see one another, but I am happy they get to spend time together. It will be just the two of us and our son, no other family this year and not even any Jasmine, hence the recent visit. I will be using my downtime to write more, get scrapbooking again, play board games with my son, watch movies and complete a puzzle. Sounds relaxing and I can't wait!

That is going to have to be it for today. I have really been missing writing my posts. It helps me to get my thoughts on paper, or into the world in this case. Thanks for listening, reading, commiserating, relating... I am curious, what tabs do you have open right now? Please share in the comments.