Anxiety - You Can't Rationalize With It!

"Mom can you please come pick me up, I am throwing up." Not what you want to read when you wake up to a text from your son the morning after you drop him of at university. I knew this wasn't a stomach flu, this was his anxiety manifesting itself with physical nausea and vomiting.

24 hours later (and what is supposed to be his first day of school) he is still retching on the couch, like literally I can hear him right now and. it. is. awful!

I wrote a previous post about my daughter Jasmine's anxiety here. Jasmine's anxiety takes a different form, no throwing up for her - she physically shuts down, more of a depression like state. She started off not being able to sleep, which led to laying in bed during the day, not eating, not showering and frequent crying. Her anxiety was also different, because it wasn't really triggered by any one thing that made her nervous. A big life change graduating from university made her body react very physically. If you read her post, you know it got to a point where I had to go and help her in Toronto and she came home for a while.

Things that have helped Jasmine:

• Her and Jonathan, her boyfriend, moved out of the basement suite into a beautifully bright apartment

• They moved in with a friend, so when the other is at work or on set, they have a chance someone else will be around

• She went to the walk in clinic and was given sleeping pills and an anti-anxiety medication

• She started going to the gym (once she was feeling better and had energy again). She is the one in the back leaping for joy!

• They got a kitty cat, named Soda Pop

Devin was watching his sister go through her anxiety a couple of months before his started up again. He had been considering medication, but really did not want to go this route. When his first stressor came up over the summer, he realized his stomach would not be able to handle an 8:00 a.m. working gig and he had to say no to the only job he had been offered... he was ready to try taking some meds. We visited the doctor and asked for the anti-anxiety pills. He started them last week, but they haven't kicked in yet. My hope for him is that after this bout, he will be okay for a few weeks until the medicine starts to work and have smooth sailing after that.

Medication is not the end all be all, but for anxiety it seems to have helped my daughter... and ME! I have been on an SSRI for over 10 years now. It really helped me. I can travel now without being ill, that was a major trigger for me. I have taken the train to Toronto on my own, even driven there with just my son - not something I would have even considered before the meds. I flew to Saskatchewan by myself 2 years ago without difficulty, well I was depressed that time and needed new meds... but that is a whole other post. I sure hope medication helps turn things around for Devin. He is trying to do everything right, eat well - low sugar, no pop, heavy protein, decent bedtime, be more social, be more active... he isn't perfect, but this... this is awful to listen to. I think he has had this happen often enough now, that he is ready to consider therapy. He is not always a talker and therapy in itself stresses him out, but it is time to talk out these issues and find some working solutions.

I share all of this to let others know, you are not alone. So many people do not want to talk about mental health and our struggles. Yesterday my newsfeed on Facebook was filled with happy pics of kids going back to school, but very rarely does it share that a kid threw up because they were so nervous, or they cried because they didn't want to leave mom or dad or they peed their pants because they didn't know where the bathroom was or they fled the school and ran home because they couldn't handle the stress. As a teacher, I KNOW these things happen on first days of school. Stress is real, anxiety is real. AND anxiety has real side effects that can be debilitating and they are not easy to get through. BUT, we can get through them. Talk about it, listen to what others have tried, reach out to your doctor - there is help available. You are not alone!

Suffering from Anxiety - Try these:

• Breathing exercises, we all do this. Breathe in for a few counts, hold and then breathe out fast. Repeat.

• Therapy

• Worry stones, fidget toys

• Warm tea, Kombucha or ginger beer - depending on what we need, these can help settle stomach. Gatorade and Kombucha after we have an episode.

• Eat small meals

• Take a nap

• Take a shower or bath

• Take Gravol or Tums

• Distract yourself - watch a movie, play a video game, visit a friend

• Go outside for a short walk

• Magical gems, bracelets and small jars of herbs and gems. Like a bracelet of Lapis Lazuli to reduce nervousness - also doubles as a fidget.

• Positive internal dialogue and mantras to repeat

How is anxiety affecting you and your loved ones? Have you found working solutions? Please share any tips you may have in the comments.