Healthy As F*ck!

I took this book out from the library last week and have to say it is really striking a chord with me. First off, the author, Oonagh is from Toronto, so I think that is pretty cool. She is very blunt and very funny! The two put together seem to be a good combination that really has me thinking. Here is a quote to give you an idea:

I know accusing you of being on a diet is like accusing you of being some vapid cheerleader who didn't get the fucking fax in 1987 that diets don't work and you are supposed to love yourself the way you are. You probably hate the word diet because it reminds you of your mom counting her Weight Watchers points or cooking nothing but cabbage soup for a week. Well I am afraid your keto lifestyle might seem just as ridiculous to the next generation.... The point is, the language has changed, but as I type this, seventy five million Americans are actively trying to lose weight...more than 30% of North Americans are clinically obese.

Oonagh goes on and has many funny little ways to get it through your head, that we need to forget the ridiculousness, the over planning, the vocabulary, etc. and just do the fucking work! Everything comes down to your habits! It is that simple. Your everyday behaviour is what will make or break your efforts to lose weight, feel good and be healthy. When your lifestyle starts to fall apart, when you are stressed or tired, or on vacation or it is Friday or you have your period... then your lifestyle is just a diet that isn't working for you all the time. She compares it to being a Vegan - like you don't stop being Vegan when you get a cold or go on holidays - you are still a pain in the ass vegan to all your friends even when they come to visit. There is nothing wrong with being on a diet, but when you fail the diet, and at some point you will, it leaves you feeling like a shitty failure. We punish ourselves for being undisciplined and we are exhausted from the effort. Oonagh says, "we need to get our heads out of our asses" and we are not actually after a number on the scale, we are after a feeling. It is the feeling we are chasing. The feeling of success, the feeling of being thin, the feeling of sexy ass clothes, the feeling of being confident...

I am sure you have heard the definition of insanity before: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. This is what we do on diets, we are basically doing the same thing over and over and expecting that one time it will be magic and work. It doesn't mean we aren't working hard, trying, putting in effort, eating in a deficit or whatever, but Oonagh argues that we are letting ourselves off with "easy effort", because real effort "frightens the bejesus out of you. Real effort demands improvement. Real effort accomplishes something meaningful." Easy effort lets us tick off a box and say we tried. The act of building new habits and skills requires effort! The good news, she says, is that eventually those habits become effortless. In order for this to happen though we have to break the cycle.

She is right, for me, I am scared to break the cycle. I know I have to wake up earlier... but I don't want to. If I don't want to, I am not going to do it. Then I have to decide if I am going to feel guilty for the rest of my life for being "lazy" for sleeping in all the time, or if I feel okay saying, "well, I am not a morning person". Can I be the person I really want to be and sleep for 10 out of 24 hours in my day? No, really - can I? I don't know, but right now, I am trying. Is this me simply making excuses for myself because I am not willing to do the hard work. My husband is literally awake for 3 more hours a day than I am. Imagine what I could do with 3 more hours in my day?

I want to lose 100 pounds, BUT...

I don't want to give up sugar

I don't want to give up chocolate

I don't want to give up peanut butter

I don't want to give up Tim Horton's Ice Capp's

I don't want to give up sleeping in

I don't want to give up watching my TV shows

I don't want to give up butter on my green beans

I don't want to give up Ice Cream

I don't want to give up Bailey's

I don't want to give up Potato Chips

I don't want to give up.... FUN

Is it possible for me to have FUN, be happy, like actually joyous and do all the hard work, the really hard work it is going to require to not only lose 100 pounds, but keep 100 pounds off!

Oonagh warns: THIS WILL SUCK.

I don't want things to suck! How long will it suck for? Does it have to suck in order for it to work? Do I want these things that "suck" to become my effortless habits?

She says I need to find my why. Why do I want to lose 100 lbs? I am pretty sure I listed that in my previous post about being fat. She goes on to talk about how people, like me, have been practicing shitting neural pathways of I quote, "discontent and hatred" and she is not wrong. We are training ourselves to feel shitty by repeating negative thoughts about ourselves over and over again. (Is it any wonder I need words of affirmation and gifts to show me and make me realize I am loved and cared about?) So whenever we are feeling down about our bodies, we need to stop that shitty talk and embrace all that we got! We need to pump up the music that makes us sing. We need to dance around, talk some smack-talk and beat those shitty thoughts right out of us. Negative self-hating thoughts lead to negative behaviour. So imagine what self-affirming and loving thoughts lead us to?

I am not even halfway through this book yet and I already have so many thoughts. For now, I am realizing, I do have to make more of a solid, consistent effort if I want to lose weight, and I do want to lose weight... more than I want to eat that chocolate cake, so I need to make the hard choices right now. Will it suck!? It will suck, BUT it is as sucky as I make it suck. I can wrap my head around things better and still be positive. I can say no and still feel good about it. I can find alternative treats that I enjoy that won't make me feel so deprived. I can do this, but it will be hard. It will be long and it will have to become permanent. I am not going to do all this work to put the weight back on. (I say that as if I am confident, but that is one of my fears, as it has happened before with me and many of my friends) Do I give enough Fucks that I will change my habits? I guess time will tell. For now, I will keep reading this book. What do you guys think?